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Has the "new man" arrived? Of late, the media has been talking a great deal about such a creature, or what it terms a "complete man." The idea is that basically, in response to the feminist movement, often coupled with a 2-career marriage, men have changed. They have become more what women want them to be - more sensitive, more caring, more understanding, more intimate, more involved in household work and childcare.

Surely, many men, by themselves or in groups, are starting to question the values they were brought up with. They are asking what it means to be a man, and more precisely, what kind of a man they want to be.

Yet, it would be closer to the mark to say that men today are struggling with a situation far more complex and confusing than what it was for the fathers and grandfathers. Men are subject to new pressures and messages, many of which conflict with the traditional rules and values.

Yes, a man should still be strong, but this should be balanced with sensitivity. Too much show of strength would earn him the term macho (now used more in a derogatory than an admiring sense). But a man has to be careful about the sensitivity part as well. Too much sensitivity can label him a weakling.

Yes, a man should be successful at work, but somehow also find time to relate to his mate and help a lot in household chores. Exactly where the time and energy will come from to carry out all these tasks, is his headache.

Yes, a man should be a forceful lover; women don't want a wimp in bed: but in addition, he should be tender and considerate, willing to do what is needed for a woman's satisfaction.

Yes, a man should take the sexual initiative, even persevere if he encounters some feigned resistance: but he should be alert to a genuine rebuff: to take particular care, lest a sexual invitation he makes is construed as sexual harassment.

Today's man is caught in a peculiar bind because the very definition of familial love has changed. In the past, what husbands did - working to support the family, abstaining from chasing other women, helping at home in a few selected tasks commonly reserved for men - was accepted as showing their love. Now, men are expected to show love the way women do, by sharing feelings and talking in a personal way.

Even the definition of sex is on its way to becoming feminine in nature. Marital sex is no longer some impulsive, quick sex; it should be of adequate duration, with its component of foreplay and after-play.

In the past, jokes were mostly at the expense of women. Women were rated dumb, poor in doing accounts, timid in driving, and squeamish about sex. Jokes these days are more at the expense of men. All that men care about is sex, sports and work. They don't remember birthdays and fumble while feeding a baby.

NEW MODERN MAN

This is not to say that men have a rougher time than women. In today's world, both sexes suffer in their own ways. Yet, the modern man faces a unique new situation.

And he doesn't get much understanding because he has a hard time expressing what's going on within him. Which is exactly what we would expect from someone brought up as a typical boy.

"Don't be a sissy," is the important socialisation message boys receive from their early years. To be a sissy is deemed much worse for a boy than being a tomboy is deemed for a girl.

Since females of all ages are the softer ones - people who express feelings, who cry, who are more relating - boys do their best to do the reverse; they suppress their softer side.

Indeed, they learn to believe that femaleness is something strange and inferior. One result of this is the development of a habit of not taking women seriously. This inability to take women seriously can cause much friction in adult life, especially in marital life.

It is assumed that girls will grow up to be women simply by getting older. But boys need something special to become men. Manhood is conditional; having the right genitals is necessary, but not sufficient.

No man was born a man; you earned your manhood, provided you were good enough, bold enough. For boys, combativeness rules their life, whether it's sports, fights, studies or sex; as if everywhere their masculinity is at stake.

Because of the emphasis on strength and self-reliance, men have trouble admitting to unresolved personal problems. If a man acknowledges his confusion or fear and asks for help, it's taken as something wrong with him; as if he's not as tough as he ought to be. You have this ridiculous situation of men driving endlessly around in their cars instead of stopping and asking for directions. No wonder men avoid acknowledging their worries to their mates. They are slow to admit to illness and other physical problems, and even slower to admit to emotional distress. Quite a few choose to drown their feelings in alcohol.

Contrary to the common assumption that it's only the harried working mother who juggles her job, her children's needs and her housework, working fathers also suffer from daddy stress.

A sick child left at home in a maid's care can haunt a man during his working day. In an experiment conducted by Michael Lamb, a New York researcher, he monitored the blood pressure of parents, their heart rate and galvanic skin response while exposing them to their crying babies.

It was found that there was no difference between mothers and fathers. One can see enough indications of the "new man" in the offing. Yet, he's taking his own time to "arrive."

Michael Douglas is a proud contributing author and write articles that relates to woman's interests and her relationship with men. Visit his website Love-Lectures.com and learn how to captivate a man and make him fall in love with you, how to handle first date jitters, and tips to make yourself irresistible to men and much, much more....

What is the first thing you think about when you decided to do something about your posture? Im guessing it was exercise. If your posture is poor then surely you will need to start a rigorous program of corrective exercises right away! This is because everyone from your doctor, physical therapist, personal trainer and the man on the train will tell you exercise is the only way to correct bad posture. So it must be right well, actually it isnt!.

But did you know that no study has ever proved they have any long term benefits for your posture? Its interesting that so many therapists continue to use the exercise approach when no evidence proves its effectiveness. Yes there are studies that show by exercising your transverse abdominals you will strengthen them (no surprise there really!) but as for the overall benefit to your posture and coordination no conclusive results.

Lets just spend a few moments considering the exercise approach to correcting poor posture. The theory goes that a weakness in a muscle or group of muscles is causing your body to lose its natural, upright posture. So parts of your body are collapsing due to lack of support and other parts have to work harder to keep you balanced. This explains the aches and pains that often go with poor posture.

So what is the best way to strengthen a weak muscle? Exercise of course! Just do this movement twenty times a day and soon everything will be right again. But just wait a moment. Lets consider why a particular muscle is weak and not performing its function correctly. Are you familiar with the term use it or lose it? If a muscle has become weak it is usually because you are not using it.

If you slump all day in a chair you will get better at slumping and use your extensor muscles in the back less and less until they become weak. If you are not using the right muscles to do the right job its a coordination or body use problem.

Imagine you took your car to the garage and the mechanic reports you have damaged the gears. The part needs to be changed and that is going to cost you big time. Sounds reasonable doesnt it? What if the mechanic says you will have to change that part every month because its the way you drive that is causing the problem? Not so reasonable, just think of the cost and time involved! You would, of course, take action to assess your skills and learn how to drive your car in a way that doesnt cause damage.

So what is your therapist advising you to do when they suggest exercise to improve your posture?

You have some weak muscles and need to spend time each day to strengthen them. And this will be done using movements that have nothing in common with your everyday movements.

What questions should you ask your therapist?

Will I have to continue to do them for long periods?

When I stop will they remain strong or will they start to get weaker again?

Will the exercises make me sit, stand and move with less effort?

Wouldnt it make sense for your therapist to show you how to use your body in a way that didnt cause muscle imbalances? Yet if you asked you might find the advice starts to get a bit limiting such as sit up straight, work on your core muscles etc etc. Yet if you knew how to sit and stand properly you wouldnt have poor posture would you!

Even if an intense period of exercise did help your posture would you spend all that time doing them? If there was an easier, more scientific approach to getting a better posture that didnt require exercise wouldnt you give that a chance?

If your posture is poor it is because muscles arent doing what they are supposed to do. But remember, you are the one who is telling them what to do! Exercises that have nothing in common with everyday movements, work on muscles in a piecemeal manner and encourage the wrong sort of effort will not deliver any long term benefits.

So the sensible, scientific way to approach the problem would be to find out where you are going wrong. A better understanding of how you can use gravity to lessen the effort you put into all your activities is another key factor in getting a better posture. Combine a knowledge of your own body, mind and the role of gravity and your posture will start to resume its natural shape.

Roy Palmer is a teacher of The Alexander Technique and has studied posture for the last 10 years. He has written two books on a new approach to sports training and conditioning. More information about his approach can be found by clicking What Is Good Posture?